What Your Favorite Dracula Says About You
These are meant to be fun roasts—as unserious as it gets. No insult or harm was intended in making this silly list.
Bela Lugosi
This is big Golden Retriever energy.
You are paw-sitively adorable, although you might also be a film nerd who believes watching black and white movies makes you more cultured than everyone else. You may be afraid or unwilling to try new things and tend to play it safe (do you order the same things at restaurants?) but you’re reliable and dependable, especially for your friends.
Christopher Lee
A tried-and-true legend. You’re either a bit of a rebel or a wannabe baddie, and probably a teensie bit of a snob when it comes to classic films—especially horror. You don’t mind a bit of camp with your horror, but you’re certainly not one to shy away from a creepy good time. In your mind, you’re a bit broody and mysterious and you probably relate to Dracula more than the protagonists, but hopefully you’re not as much of a womanizer as your hero.
Claes Bang
This is the only right answer. You have exceptional taste and you know a good thing when you see it.
... but you also have severe daddy issues
And I do mean that in both uses of the word.
Gerard Butler
You clearly have a thing for sexy men and Scottish accents...
But if this is your favorite Dracula, are you sure you’ve even seen Dracula? In fairness, though—Mr. Butler is far from the weak point of Dracula 2000 and he’s certainly not hard on the eyes.
Nicholas Cage
You either picked Nicholas Cage ironically, or you’re a die-hard Cage fan and I can’t fault you for that.
You’re weird, you’re loud, and you might have unhinged tendencies. You might be a bit high-strung and you probably like things that freak other people out, like snakes and spiders for pets.
You have unreasonably strong opinions about things, whether or not they are important.
Jason Segel
This is a deep cut. If this is your favorite Dracula, you are a bright light in this dark world and I think this world would be a better place with more people like you in it.
Gary Oldman
You are a hopeless romantic who is extremely forgiving. You are an artist at heart, appreciating differences and unique experiences, but deep down you’re still waiting to be stalked by a brooding bad boy who only has eyes for you.
Luke Evans
You’re a theater kid with a thing for bad boys, and you’re terrible at recognizing red flags in your romantic partners.
Richard Roxburgh
This is a real one right here. You are a true disciple of vampire lore and you aren’t a crowd-follower. You know what you like, and you’re not ashamed of it. This movie might also have been a sexual awakening for you… especially for my bi and pansexual siblings out there.
Leslie Nielsen
You are likely the loudest and most unpredictable person in the room, but you enjoy making people laugh and you’re probably the kind of friend who shows up with soup and a movie when a friend is sick.
Klaus Kinski
You have eccentric and refined taste, appreciating the strange and extraordinary things in life. You are kind, curious, and artistic, but there is a chance that you may be a bit of a snobby cinephile.
Adam Sandler
You are a child at heart, you’ve got a great sense of humor, and you’re probably a bit of a softie. You might use humor as a crutch, but you usually make people laugh, even when they don’t want to.
Copyright 2025 Rian C. Stone. All rights reserved.